Title:
And if the rain doesn't shine, we'll still have each other.
Thursday, was d Release of d GCE 'O' Level results.
Much mixed emotions seen, as expected.
For us, we were only taking d result of one single subj, & we were alrd feeling tht much, I wonder wht was gng on in d minds of those waiting thr, for their results. I rrly did felt butterflies in my stomach. Adrenalin rush, & blah blah blah.
Released early, at 1:15. & I was so in need of a big bear hug, like a literal big bear hug. Met Val, just when I needed her most, a big bear hug in store. Alright, & I lost count how many hugs I had, yeah, tht's how much I needed. I swr if anyone triggered me at tht moment, I would have broke down & cried my arse off, because I knw I haven't put in my best for d exam, well, & if anything goes wrng, I've no one t blame.
Those lengthy talks didn't help much either, it just added on t our anxiety.
But alright, those talks were essential, & having Miss Lim back t talk t them, was prolly smth rewarding, don't ask me why, but it feels like I'm a lil tinge bit closer, like back t whr Fairfield was, when I saw Miss Lim. Prolly cos I have had her for 3 yrs. Not tht Mister Owyong is not good, he's awesome, just tht, we're prolly more attached t someone who has been arnd us for 3 yrs. & her prayer was v much assuring too in tht solemn yet anticipating atmosphere.
The mention of all d distinctions filled d halls w estacy. & I rrly think they're remarkable, t be able t juggle both their CCA & grades so well, so much tht they're getting 8 distinctions. As absurb as this may seem, I'm gna work twards tht. Gee, tough, but as Mister Chan said, 10 yrs down d road, whn you look back, this 9 mnths of mugging rewards well. Essentially, we reap wht we sow.
Val got hers first, am rrly happy for you tht you got distinction, we're gna stick on this, & mug.
Striving twards our goal, together.As I was waiting, I saw Shaun getting his results, & Mister Ho was congratulating him, well yeah, doesn't takes a genius t comprehend wht was gng on, he got an A. Felt rrly happy for him whn I saw him hugging Mister Ho & tht estactic smile on his face, cos I knw he worked hard for it. He deserves tht A1, & well, I wasn't rrly sure about myself. I prepared myself mentally for Bs, & stuff, esp when I received Hinann's msg, but I knw, deep down, if I were t get a B, I would break down, & be rrly disappointed. Blame it on my high expectations of myself. I am tht stubborn, I am tht demanding, & it sucks at times like this. It just totally creeps me out. D anxiety was engulfing my heart.
When it was my turn, I swr I was at my highest pitch, screaming t Mdm WQZ, telling her tht I'm here. Signed my name, & right before me, Mdm WQZ was holding on t my slip. Tht particular slip tht will determine my leaving or staying in HCL. & when Fang congratulate me bfore Mdm WQZ gave me tht slip, I swr, I was nuts, hysteric, (whtever tht's meant for expressions of joy & thnksgiving goes in here).
I cried, screamed, jumped. & I hugged countless people, crying.& as I saw Sarah crying, I hugged her, Siti joined in, w Dee. & it was those terrible heart-wrenching feeling tht I was experiencing. It felt like as tho it was our 'O' Level results, as in all of em. & tht we have successfully screwed it up. At tht moment, I felt like my heart dropped from estacy t rock bottom. I nvr want tht t happen ever again, & I think this is a big wake up call for all of us, so tht we won't screw our 'O' Levels up. At least this time round, we have another chance, if we want t. But d ultimate sacrifice, dropping of HCL.
But, I really wanna thnk Siti, Wendy, Joleena, Jumana, Mag, Val, Ryan & everyone else who were thr for us. (:
It may not seem a big deal, & you might be wondering why d hell am I making sucha big fuss outta smth like these, but it means a great deal t me. Maybe as nonchalent as I might seem twards studies sometimes, tht's not always d case. I do care, & I actually care about it like how I would cling on t my dear life.
All these, I hafta thnk God. Cos I knw, I haven't put in my best in d subj. I haven't done my best, & truth be told, I didn't actually really study for it, d day before I was out frolicking smwhr, I think. So, all tht I achieved, could be said a miracle, & I owe it all t God, my Jehovah Jireh, for being so ever faithful t me even whn I was most unfaithful t Him.
Somehow, aft getting my results, I don't feel d joy as much as tht split-second whn I just had my results. Cos I saw my dear ones crying, esp Sarah. It made my heart drop. I would v much be happier, if everyone got distinctions. Cos it just hurt t knw tht someone tht has been arnd you for 3 years in d same HCL, might be gone d nxt lesson. It's still v much terrible, even tho I knw we're still schoolmates. It just doesn't feel like HCL anm with just one person missing, everyone plays a part in giving the vibe t this dear class.
'Let's treasure this, this might be our last class tgt.'
I just cross my fingers & hope tht doesn't happen, since d ultimate choice still lies within our grasp.
'We walk on this path, knowing that the end is drawing near. & now we know how dear we are to each other as we are feeling this tinge of bitterness.'Labels: Jet - Kings Horses.
